The T-Bag: Missed Deadline Edition (NSFW-ish)

Hey guys, remember when I set that deadline for myself the very first t-bag about doing one every Saturday?

Yeah that didn’t happen. Sorry about that, but in my defense…suck it I’m busy.

Busy being fabulous.

But, now we’re back with a vengeance like Die Hard 3, with an exciting new T-Bag: Top 5 Uses for the Color Beige!

5. Men’s Pants

Whatever dude. I'm in beige.

Beige is a good go-to color for the casual male who refers to himself as a casual male. Its dull enough that it matches most things, but it retains a more relaxed appeal, not coming with the formal stigma of black dress pants.

Fucking Fascists

If you’re looking to make an impression at the office, but are still pretty sure you’re the cool guy, slip your buns into some beige.
On a side note, I found a clothing company called Beige that I hoped to get some pictures from, but it turns out that their clothes come in SEVERAL colors. There isn’t even that much beige!

I disagree!

4. Interior Decoration

We were picking between between Sand and Taupe when we realized we were never in love.

Are you conservative, upper-middle class WASP, and you want everyone who visits to know it immediately? Try beige. Beige, when used on your walls and furniture, gives off a nice, cozy feeling, while subtly stating “I can’t see a reason why I would ever be in Mexico.”

Shouldn't you be in school, missy?

Beige is a nice, neutral color for a nice, neutral family who have nice, neutral gatherings, usually about how they wish God could make everyone as nice and neutral as them.

3. Web Design, Apperantly

No one calls you docto.

My preliminary research for this T-Bag was a quick google search for “Uses for Beige.” This resulted in me finding a blog that had been reposted no less than 3 times on seperate sites. The blog was a list of examples of the underrated power of beige in designing website backgrounds.

This isn’t a use I would think of on my own, but the blog is pretty adament of its capabilities. I don’t know anything about web design, but I guess these look cool?

Hey...neat...

Besides, trusting my own thoughts is what led to the fires… Those terrible, terrible fires…

Never forget. R.I.P.

2. Women

She seems nice

That’s right, I like a little extra Kahlua in my cocktails. My girlfriend has Italian and Samoan genes, and back in high school I charmed a few Hispanic ladies. To be fair, I also dated a couple girls who were as pale as the spirits of the damned sent to wither my joy away and drag me to an underworld of pain and constant torment, but those didn’t end well.

Guess which one I used to date

So I’ve established a little shallow preference for the more exotic appeal of beige skin on women I pine after with no positive outcome. I think its understandable.

1. This Dog

Whosagoosagoosahbubbawrinkles. Am I right?

That’s it for this week’s T-Bag. If you have a list you’d like to see, leave it in the comments.
Until next time, I hope you’ve enjoyed being T-Bag’d.