Alright guys, I decided to do a review of Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo.
Super Mario World
What a fantastic game. The colors are brilliant, the gameplay is memorable, and the replay value is top-notch.
Mother fucker eats anything.
This game is a 32-bit masterpiece. Unlike its predecessors (what was up with Super Mario Bros 2, AM I RIGHT?!), this game has superb graphics. You can even make out Mario’s facial expression. Although, it’s almost always this:
Oh is that a huge fucking bullet WHO GIVES A SHIT I'M A PLUMBER.
The best addition to this game is, arguably, the introduction of Yoshi (pictured above eating that spiny shit). Every knight needs a steed, and who better to fill that role for Mario than an adorable little green dinosaur. Although, my realism and logic sensors went a little haywire trying to justify the taming of a dinosaur. Then I remembered the rest of the batshit craziness in the game (pictured above in the form of a GIANT FUCKING GRAVITY DEFYING BULLET).
The overworld is more expansive than the previous Mario games, and you can even go back and play levels over and over, as many times as you want. This unlocks the potential for a much more thorough play through, with some levels containing secret goals to hidden levels. There’s even a *SPOILER* Secret Star Road, which unlocks three different colored Yoshi’s with their own individual strengths!
That giant Bowser head coming out of the water just screams "FINE ASS BITCHES WELCOME".
This game truly showcases Mario’s strengths in the battlefield, pitting him up against the likes of giant dinosaurs and flying balls of fire. Included in this release is the feather, an item that grants Mario the gift of flight (much like the raccoon tail and tanooki suit of Super Mario Bros. 3. Does anybody else wonder why the fuck an autumn leaf turns Mario into a raccoon? That was a great game.). In addition to the classic Fire Flower, the feather is an indispensable tool for dispatching enemies.
Although, Mario does pretty well just being himself THERE'S THAT FUCKING BULLET AGAIN doesn't matter, super bounce.
This is truly a wonderful game, and definitely worth a play through. Pick up a copy today. Nobody stands a chance against a cape-laden Super Mario riding a vicious dinosaur named Yoshi.
Come at me, bro.
Ok, seriously, like 80% of the Google image search results for “Super Mario World” feature Big Bullet Bill.
Alright, like 6.
I can’t believe you just read a review of a game that’s old enough to legally drink.
I can’t believe I wrote one.
I'm in the weird part of the internet again.
4 comments
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Bradford
March 6, 2012 at 12:24 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I think life would seem more manageable if everything came at us from the right.
Ryan
March 6, 2012 at 12:25 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I don’t know how I didn’t notice this before…but Yoshi has sneakers.
Geoff
March 6, 2012 at 12:32 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Pretty sure they’re Jordans.
dudeski
March 6, 2012 at 10:58 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Something else noteworthy: have you ever noticed that THE BULLET HAS A FUCKING FACE AND IS NAMED BILL WHAT THE FUCK WHO ARE HIS PARENTS